I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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