the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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