i permit you to call me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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