OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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