i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
