The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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