I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
