I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
