she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
false alarm. still invincible.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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