just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
