the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
