If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
