I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
