'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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