i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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