and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
