just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
