Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
