My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
