We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
