I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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