Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
