no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
