As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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