There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
