what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
