i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
