Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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