I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
