you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
