how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
