I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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