Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
