lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
handjob tips. give me some.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
