Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
