A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
