We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
