Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
