The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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