you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
