I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
