respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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