:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
