Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
