OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
