his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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