I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
