dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
