Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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