You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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