I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
