I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
