Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
