I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
