So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
