They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
