Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
