That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
